my heart is bleeding

a bit of you

2011-01-12T11:34:00.002+01:00

we all need
a bit of sunshine
in our hearts

we all need
a bit of fresh wind
in our minds

be a bit for me
i'll be a bit for you

can you hurt me?

2010-07-03T21:20:00.003+02:00

i messed up
i messed up so badly i can't believe it myself
i didn't want to
and i have no idea how to fix it
it hurts so badly
it hurts
i want to cut my heart out to stop the hurt
i want to cut my eyes out to stop the tears
i feel lost in my fucked up mind
i didn't want to hurt you
i didn't want to hurt
i didn't want
can you ever forgive me?

Du fehlst

2010-06-01T00:06:00.000+02:00

Du fehlst
hier im Zug
bei meiner Seite
an meiner Schulter
bei meinem Herzen

Zeit

2010-05-25T14:24:00.002+02:00

gestern waren wir noch
die Hoffnung der Zukunft
heute sind wir blos noch
was morgen erneuert wird.

hello world

2010-05-24T17:48:00.002+02:00

the air smells sweet
around this time of the year
at least here it does
and it's a nice experience
the breeze is warm
and we want to run around outside
let's have a summer to remember!

we

2010-05-20T19:19:00.003+02:00

don't know
where
this feelings
are
coming from

want them
to go away

lets
dance and laugh

lets
shine and rise

this place
is as bright
as we make it

bite me

2010-05-14T22:36:00.002+02:00

because
i just deleted
the most embarrassing
love poem
ever written
in history

but
i ment
every word
of it

weil ich Dich sehe

2010-05-06T10:32:00.002+02:00

beweine nicht das Leben
erfreue Dich an seiner Unberechenbarkeit
Kontrolle unterdrückt Dein Glück
Du kannst Dich an der Welt festhalten
aber nie die Welt aufhalten
genieße dass Du Dich mitdrehen darfst
arbeite auf Deine Ziele hin
ohne Erwartungen
Du kannst die Zukunft nicht planen
Du hast keine Kontrolle
befreie Dich von dieser Illusion
lass den Dingen ihren Lauf
strecke Dich und wachse
lauf nicht im Kreis
sondern der Sonne hinterher
lass Dir Dein Haar vom Wind nicht zerzausen
lass es Dir vom Wind formen
blick mir in die Augen
nicht nur wenn ich lache
und lass Dich von mir halten
nicht nur wenn Du weinst

just a toy

2010-05-03T19:26:00.004+02:00

sometimes
i am feeling
like
a toy

then
i wonder
when you would like
to play
again

if i could
i would call you

and if i could
i would scream your name
asking you to play with me
again

but
i am
just a toy

when you think about me you know i am thinking about you

2010-05-01T19:55:00.003+02:00

that made me so happy!
thanks a lot :D
happy happy joy joy
i wont say it as you don't like to hear it
but you know what i'm thinking! :D

entertainment?

2010-04-30T13:45:00.002+02:00

big step
don't get bored
ready for
the next step
experience
me.

don't get upset
experiencing
the malfunctioning
me.

i will smile for you

2010-04-26T22:10:00.002+02:00

i could cry
but i hold back
i don't want to
crying marks endings
i don't want it to end here
there is so much more to explore
so much more to feel
and there is my love
waiting to be accepted
it just can't end here
because
this story just began
and
you are very important to me
and so
i will smile for you

....

2010-04-24T20:38:00.000+02:00

i'd like to say i miss you
i'm not sure you'd like to hear it

...

2010-04-23T22:15:00.002+02:00

i wonder if i should have said that
i thought i would feel a relieve
now it hurts even more

warum ich ohne Deine Stimme nicht mehr einschlafen will

2010-04-20T21:54:00.004+02:00

am anderen Ende des Raumes ist ein dunkles Loch in eine Welt voller unerfüllter Träume die uns zu verschlingen versuchen und nach unserer Hoffnung langen

am anderen Ende des Raumes sitzt ein blauer Vogel und schlägt mit seinen Flügeln die Gefühle in den Wind

am anderen Ende des Raumes kauere ich mich in eine Ecke

am anderen Ende des Raumes

und warte Deine Stimme zu hören
Deine Stimme nimmt die Anspannung von mir
sie heilt mein Herz
heilt mich

ありがとうございました

2010-04-20T21:37:00.002+02:00

the lovely light you made me see
the sweet feeling you awakened in me
i thought it's impossible
ありがとうございました

the moments you made me feel save
the bitter hurt i feel when you're not here
i thought it's impossible
ありがとうございました

the loneliness you took away
the longing for you, longing for your smile
i thought it's impossible
ありがとうございました

no one will ever be able to hurt me like you could.

tell me where the unicorns went

2010-04-20T15:52:00.002+02:00

mirror of bloom
sorrow of noon
followed of gloom
and you
and you
but you wont
tell me where the unicorns went

it will!

2010-04-15T07:41:00.001+02:00

don't be so reasonable
there is nothing reasonable about love
just love
it will be ok

looking at your dream

2010-04-13T17:06:00.003+02:00

a dream of you
stabbing my heart with love
my spilled blood
felt like cried tears
before i died
i felt at ease
looking at your smile

damn

2010-04-13T01:03:00.000+02:00

i thought i would never grow old
and then it happened

my.question4u

2010-04-09T22:53:00.003+02:00

my
question
for you
today:

when was the last time
you had an
overwhelming kissing experiance?

change me

2010-04-08T20:35:00.001+02:00

my heart is hurting
the beats are out of sync
i want to cry
but i can't
if i would cry
i would give up
and i need to hope
it's all that i've got left

drowning in a moment of hopelessness

2010-04-06T22:01:00.004+02:00

i feel deeply alone
in the middle of people
it hurts deep down
i can't stand it
i want to cry
no energy left
just hurt
crunching my heart
taking my breath away
and the wish
to die
and leave all pain behind

i don't know what's going on
what's happening
i have no clue
never felt that down before

forgive me
for bothering you

magic

2010-04-05T08:34:00.001+02:00

ok
whoever placed that spell on me
please
remove it

and why, again?

2010-04-04T14:18:00.002+02:00

i have feelings in my chest
which hurt
but i don't know why
i should knew such feelings
but i seem to have forgotten
i can't find them in a single memory
why does it hurt so bad
why can't i remember
and why am i crying, again?

Nonsens

2010-04-03T20:54:00.003+02:00

würdest du mich lieben,
wenn du mich lieben könntest?

könntest du mich lieben,
wenn du mich lieben würdest?

warum?

2010-04-01T22:13:00.003+02:00

auf ab
links rechts
hin her
ping pong

please, smile!

2010-03-30T17:44:00.002+02:00

i
i feel
i feel like
i feel like i can't
i feel like i can't breeze

when you are not around
when you are not
when you are not around
when you are not
when you are not around

please
give me a smile again

slowly

2010-03-28T18:57:00.003+02:00

starting to see again
putting that veil of ignorance aside
cutting the webs of the spiders
freeing the inner self
opening the heart to a new tommorow
living for the time being

or else...

2010-03-25T13:08:00.002+01:00

i don't have anything to say
and if i would
i won't be saying it

let me hold the gun
which will shoot me
the only thing you've left to do
is pulling the trigger

but you already did.

pressure

2010-03-23T17:24:00.002+01:00

it's almost like counting the minutes
almost
i am looking forward to...
what exactly am i looking forward to?
i don't know
but it feels important
more important than before
i need to know
i need to
i need
you

i care

2010-03-22T18:37:00.003+01:00

i do not know
i do not see
i do not care

i do not hear
i do not feel
i do not care

i do not change
i do not want
i do not care

but all of this
is just
subject to discussion

you

2010-03-20T09:39:00.001+01:00

have absolutely no idea
where this is going

hope you bear with me

would like to see
where this could go

turn?

2010-03-19T10:32:00.001+01:00

i am
just the summ
of the ideas
of all the people
that came before me

i wonder
why i forgot

got to go for more

2010-03-04T21:32:00.002+01:00

where will you go
what will you dream
will i be there
what have you seen

are this the adventures
you were fighting for
most intense moments
will you still want more

where did you go
lost from my dreams
i am not there
i have never been

this are the adventures
you were longing for
most intense pleasures
and you still want more

you have got to go
you have got to go for
you have got to go
you have got to go for more
got to go for more
got to go for more

teardrops

2010-01-19T00:28:00.000+01:00

it's so funny
and it's not
it's so joyful
it's a knot
a sunshine after rain
just to see your smile again

but i can't
not now
not with this knot in my brain
i can't
i won't
please don't force me
please don't

and i close my eyes
hearing silent cries
from within myself
within myself

and i close my eyes
hearing your voice
seeing your smile
but you wave good bye

sonnenschein

2010-01-13T21:57:00.003+01:00

found: life
life is known to cause problems.
uninstall life? (recomanded)

oh holder sonnenschein
strahl auf mein herzen ein

Wunden

2009-12-20T22:44:00.002+01:00

es sind die großen Wunden
die schnell verheilen.

die kleinen
zehren an uns für immer.

misguidence

2009-10-25T22:34:00.001+01:00

for
i
envy
death
i
hold
strong
on
to
life

my love.

2009-10-17T21:31:00.003+02:00

silence kills
and i feel like crying again

so much crying
so much pain
and i don't seem to evolve

i dream of you
my love
i dream of you

where are you?

dead?

2009-10-05T20:28:00.001+02:00

they told me
i am already dead

i wonder

if you are already dead
you don't have to fear death anymore

so
why is it bad?

that part of me

2009-10-05T08:18:00.001+02:00

leave the darkness behind?

but
but

you can't just move in light.

there is little

2009-10-01T03:41:00.001+02:00

there is little i know
there is little i see

feelings are so overwhelming

too much to hope for
there might be even more
in the little life we got

the wind was whispering to me

you have the strenght to cry
then have the strenght to fly
spread your wings, don't worry

all the rivers you cry
one day they'll run dry
dance, laugh, don't feel sorry

there is little i know
there is little i see

the wind was whispering to me

i'll paint a smile on your face
make this our special lovely place

now when i'm afraid
i will wait for the whispering wind
to dance, laugh and fly

live!

2009-08-25T20:14:00.002+02:00

and in the end
we will always live off the memories
of our biggest love
and relive it
whenever we can see others happy

and dream of it

and as long as we dream
we live.

a taste of tears

2009-08-22T21:30:00.001+02:00

i would like to cry
without hurting anyone
i would like to cry
just for tears sake
i would like to cry
for all the pain and
i would like to cry
for all the joy

i would like to cry
with you on my mind
i would like to cry
just for a reminder
i would like to cry
for every moment lived
i would like to cry
for i would like to smile

clouds

2009-06-06T13:47:00.000+02:00

dark thoughts
are hanging over my mind
like clouds

but i feel
i can see the sun again
eventually

and still

2009-05-13T22:48:00.002+02:00

i would go
on the highest montain
and scream out
LETS SAVE THE WORLD
FOR ANOTHER DAY
even if it might be only that one.

.::. smile .::.

2009-05-10T17:34:00.001+02:00

i would like
to catch
the smile
on your face
from my memory
of the moment
of joy

but
i forgot
how

mature?

2007-05-27T14:16:00.000+02:00

usually
when i was alone
i felt lonely

since you left
i feel incomplete

lol

2007-04-16T00:35:00.000+02:00

THAT
just
_can't_
BE!

you
MUST
be
kiddin'
me

:(

evolution forward

2007-02-24T19:58:00.000+01:00

when i was younger,
i had dreams,
felt free,
and sometimes cried,
when the world did not turn out,
how i would have liked it to do.

the older i get,
the more i cry,
the more compromises i do,
the more i lose of the dreams i had.

nervous

2007-02-04T21:53:00.000+01:00

i am permanently nervous
too many things in my mind
too much questions without answers
i would wish
someone would calm me down
i would wish
...

cry-sis

2007-02-03T23:35:00.000+01:00

:.......i
:....want
:......to
:.survive
:.....but
:.......i
:...don't
:....know
:.....how

bla___

2007-02-01T17:54:00.000+01:00

i_____
never_
before
felt__
so____
lonely
in____
my____
life__

ANGER

2007-01-21T20:58:00.000+01:00

how do i control my anger,
that it does not destoy me?

pictures in time

2007-01-06T13:48:00.000+01:00

watching old photos
mad me realize
that i didn't smile sooooo happy
since a long time

i need a piece of sun
in my heart

7002

2007-01-02T01:22:00.000+01:00

well, well, well
what have we got here...?
another year ahead!
i feel ok,
didn't promise anything to myself this time,
wont be breaking any promises what so ever.
great, isn't it?

so, that was it...

2006-12-30T23:45:00.000+01:00

a few minutes to the last day of the year
great
what a year
was expecting a lot from it
didn't work out
in a bit more then 24 hours
we will all have another try

__________

2006-12-26T19:16:00.000+01:00

a home without love
is an empty home

that's why i keep my plushies close
;)

x_X

2006-12-24T23:40:00.000+01:00

i'd like
just
to
black out

"you've been blog tagged :-)"

2006-12-19T12:04:00.000+01:00

great, it's like one of those mornings, standing in the bathroom, having a toothbrush in the mouth, looking into the mirror and having the slightly feeling that mirror is just the other side of some million tv's all around the world and you just became little brother to the world...

just in case you want to find out what i am talking about, or what this means at all (or at least partly) i will straight tag the tagger Chris Cemper a.k.a. the living dream, a man who lives his ideas and is very successful doing so. (thanks for all the years Chris, and don't be late on 24th dec ;)

five things you (probably) don't know about me... there i am supposed to tell you about my crap poems, but i guess you already saw that... how would Mario say: letse goooo!

so... _i_ ...

1. have a collection of 40+ plush moose (still growing), 'cause i am getting mad about elks, moose, deers, ... they are _cute_ (and so are plushies!)

2. was born in Trieste, but grew up and lived most of my life in Vienna

3. love to sit with friends together on the hills around Vienna, preferable around a big huge bonfire, but doing that much too seldom.

4. hate computers (that's why i love them) x)

5. am always more confused then you are, so don't even try to make sense out of me! (just ask me to rephrase ;)

and now for the rest of the evening you may find other interesting views of life here:

Ðelilah /thoughts "Short Stories With Tragic Endings"

ps demojournal7005

Paralax' mental hideout

oh, yes, i hope they don't mind ;)

good night!

genesis

2006-12-07T16:10:00.000+01:00

when i was younger
all the things have just been things to me
things to use
and i worshipped the humans and their value

today
all the humans are just things
and i worship the value of the things i can keep

what have you done to me, world?

why cry?

2006-11-21T22:24:00.000+01:00

losing
all the people i love
on the way

and you ask me
why i cry?

insane?

2006-11-11T21:02:00.000+01:00

:D
i am so a strange person
i am sorry :D
something must have gone wrong in my life
maybe all of it
:D

actually i don't really know
i feel so mixed up inside
lately i have the feeling my thoughts are pressed into my skull
there is not enough space inside my skull
the pressure is so big
sometimes it feels like my brain is touching the inside of the skull
sometimes my the parts behind my nose seem to explode
it hurts
it hurts for real
what should i do???

~_~

2006-11-06T23:03:00.000+01:00

life is dying
bit by bit

but then again it's inside yourself

your thoughts
your expectations
your dreams

your ignorance
your missing selfesteam

pulling the trigger
every day

what are you waiting to lose
when you already lost everything

melting

2006-11-01T11:09:00.000+01:00

hot cheese
on a piece of white bread
seems to be a delighting experience

~_~

2006-10-31T20:42:00.000+01:00

it's said

when you really care about someone
all the little things will remind you

even years later

it's a tragedy
when that someone left your life
and leaves a big hole
full of reminders

lost

2006-10-27T15:17:00.000+02:00

the
most strange flowers
of life
are those
you
will never be able
to pick

-_-

2006-10-22T22:56:00.000+02:00

with red eyes
sitting in the middle of the room
thinking about things
and
being affraid of the future
which future
i dont want to think anymore anylonger
i dont
please make me stop crying
it does not help me anyway
the tears wont wash away my bleeding heart

screen zero

2006-10-22T00:31:00.000+02:00

you can learn a great deal of life
by watching the movies
but they wont teach you
how to live on your own

artificial love

2006-10-18T23:50:00.000+02:00

<3

what is it for
when i have to cry
when i cannot sleep
when i cannot turn it off

waterfalls

2006-10-17T22:43:00.000+02:00

black rain
dropping from my face

crushed hearts cry for forgivenes

i'd wish i could tell you
all the words in my head
all the things i cannot form
all the love i couldn't transport

i'd wish to paint my memories

i'd wish
the tears could be a releaf

but every tear
is a little bit of dying
a page of a book
which wont be further written

i failed
i failed myself
and
i failed you

\o/

2006-10-17T20:32:00.000+02:00

life is pain
enjoy
:D

/o\

2006-10-12T23:42:00.000+02:00

give people what people want:

- purpose
- acceptance
- fairness

mindshifter

2006-10-08T21:03:00.000+02:00

when the people
of your favorite tv series
seem to be more real to you
than the people you actually know
something must have gone wrong

you realize
your inside
is
more empty
than empty

you take your favorite plushie
and kiss it good night

>><<

2006-09-30T18:07:00.000+02:00

i'd like
to empty my mind
but
i'd fear
to drown in nothingness

history

2006-08-19T11:19:00.000+02:00

in the 1980s everything seemed possible

in the 1990s we made everything possible

in the beginning of the 21th century everyone became a terrorist, except those who really were...

not as any other day

2006-06-19T20:21:00.000+02:00

the world is still mad
right
i didn't expect it to be different

the democratic idea went wrong
politicians are not serving their people
they only serve big companies and their military

where is the law, that a company that makes profit is not allowed to fire employees?
where is the law, that a company has to share at least 25% of their wins with their employees?
oh wait, it would not be fair to the stockholders that the people who worked hard for the companies profit would get a piece of the cake :P
instead we fire another 500 – profit maximizing! yeah right...

monarchy?
a defined aristocracy is rich and gets richer, the rest stays at an equal nothing

communism?
a defined elite is rich and gets richer, the rest stays at an equal nothing

capitalism?
stockholders and politicians are getting richer and richer, the rest gets poorer and poorer

new world order has just begun.

it's time

2006-04-24T12:45:00.000+02:00

42
23
64
oh yes...

the road to heaven

2006-03-16T18:11:00.000+01:00

walking
dancing

where is the goal?

jump
jump to the rhythm

let the heartbeat be your guide

guess what?

2006-03-02T15:04:00.000+01:00

the
green
little
white
bread
is
always
blue

sleep

2006-01-27T08:53:00.000+01:00

i
want
to
be
a
bear

they sleep in winter :P

sleepy

2005-06-27T11:11:00.000+02:00

hot summer days
make me wanna
sleep

make me wanna
sleep
at the lake
under a tree

hot summer days

me

2005-04-28T08:34:00.000+02:00

i am not a poet
i just have permanent brain malfunction
that's it folks
nothing less
nothing more

gee...

yeah yeah

2005-04-13T13:27:00.000+02:00

it was raining
while sunshine

and i slept
without notice

there is a point of view
which is unknown to me

can you guide me?
can you?

alone?

2005-02-26T19:08:00.000+01:00

there is a garden
beyond the skyline
it's where we will go
you and i
if you hold my hand
if i hold your hand

we can go where ever we want
alone

but it would be much nicer
to share those gifts...

huh?

2005-02-10T11:07:00.000+01:00

yesyes
i thought it's about time
for a new thought
so
you see
i still think a lot
just
you need to remind me
sometimes
to share them...
<3

waoh!

2005-01-24T16:42:00.000+01:00

that was a pretty nice time :D

and i forgot to take some pictures...
but the pictures in my head wont fade out anyway
:P :)

turning

2005-01-20T16:09:00.000+01:00

turning
my head
the world
around
and it seems
i can't stop

turning
my face
the girl
between
and it means
i wont stop

*dizzy*

btw...

2005-01-18T14:19:00.000+01:00

STRASSENBAHN !!! :P

TRAMWAY !!! :D

summer in my <3

2005-01-18T13:40:00.000+01:00

i could smile all day
by watching your pic
by reading your lines

wait

i smile all day :P

life

2005-01-03T10:45:00.000+01:00

hits again!

happy 2005...
here we go

lets wash the sorrow away

let me cry

2004-12-26T11:23:00.000+01:00

i'd wish
everything would be
as simple
as choosing
your favorite
plushie

99 % of your time

2004-12-25T19:42:00.000+01:00

you think too much :P
that's why there's only 1 % left
to spend with others...
:/

nice

2004-12-24T13:49:00.000+01:00

i remember xmas
as it was
when i was a kid

my parents
yelling at each other
because things never worked out
how they imagined it

well
tell them to stfu
tell them you love them

as long as you can :P

hm yeah...

2004-12-23T13:18:00.000+01:00

i wonder
where to wake up
i dream
snowflakes falling all over me
i miss
you

i wonder
what i am waiting for
i dream
your hand into mine
i miss
reality

lost

2004-12-22T01:20:00.000+01:00

feel lost
left alone
out in the cold
freezing

feel alone
left lost
in the freezing
cold out

they don't deliver mail
where you've been gone

calm me down

2004-12-20T10:20:00.000+01:00

i fail to be able to
nervous looks gathering the round
i need a relieve
calm me down
i fail

:P

2004-12-19T15:14:00.000+01:00

that's the way it is

:P

:D

sometimes...

2004-12-17T01:02:00.000+01:00

yes, sometimes
the colors you see
happen to be real
even if you feel
like in a dream